Crocs – A Fashion Faux Pas

Crocs, originally intended as outdoor shoes because of their slip-resistant, non-marking soles, have become a bona-fide phenomenon – universally accepted as an all purpose shoe for comfort and fashion. Wrong.

Here is my opinion on Crocs: they are the most ‘fugly’ things ever created. Period. It is like they are a failed attempt of Fisher-Price trying to create protective tennis shoes. If you want shoes with holes in them for outdoor work, something has to be mentally wrong with you, and you probably just got bit by a snake (call 911 for emergencies). From the other viewpoint, if you see these ‘holes’ as letting your feet breathe, let it be known that you are a retard. If God wanted your feet to breathe, he would have given each of them a nose.

And as for the outdoor aspect, like regular shoes, I assume that you can wear them whether it’s raining or sunny. The holes just let the water seep right in with rain, giving you gangreen with mold; and sunlight gives you the polka dot tan, which we know is the hottest trend right now – not. They also claim that they are waterproof – I think not with holes in them!

But, people have to wear these ugly shoes for a reason, and maybe it’s because of their unsurpassed comfort? No, I don’t think so. They are huge, and clumpy; and they may be light-weight, but only if you like standing in a cement/styrofoam bucket apparatus. Trip and fall in these one time, and I’ll bet you will never wear them again.

And as for price, thirty dollars seems fair for two pieces of ten cent rubber, right? Why not invest your money in a television infomercial. That would be better in the long run. I know that you need Oxyclean more than you need Crocs. Truth.

So, if you wear Crocs, and you know who you are, there is a ‘waterproof’ circle in hell reserved for you. That’s all.

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